I suck at updating!

I had a fetal heart echo done on 5/11 as a precaution due to the genetic disorder my DS was born with.  Baby boy's heart looks great!  Such a relief.  They did find a cyst by his bowel though, which wasn't there during the A/S.  They had me come back on 6/1 for a follow up u/s.  The cyst is still there, but hasn't grown, so that was good news.  They also confirmed that it's not "communicating" with any organs, which is also good news.  So at this point, we just wait and see.  I will likely have one more u/s before he's born.  If the cyst is still there, then we'll probably have to have it surgically removed.

Other than that, everything is going great.  I'm a little over 25 weeks and still have lots of energy, which has been awesome.  I've been doing stuff around the house and in the yard.  I need to watch my back when I'm working outside, but I've slowly been getting stuff done and it feels good to see an improvement.  I want to take advantage of the energy b/c I know as the summer goes on, I will do less and less.

My next appt is on the 13th and I will have my glucose test.  I'm kind of dreading it.  I'm nervous I'm going to fail it b/c I've been eating SO much sugar.  I've been trying to eat less sugar and I've been semi-successful, but it something I crave all the time.  Ugh.  We shall see.

Here's my baby boy at 22 weeks!

Introducing Baby Boy CMU

Here he is!!!  Isn't he just the cutest?!  I cannot wait to meet him!  And I'm so excited for DS to have a brother to grow up with.

19w0d

Everything at the A/S went really well.  Baby boy is measuring 3 days ahead and was around 11 oz at the time.  His h/b was 158.  He is looking perfectly healthy!  We have opted to have an echocardiogram done at 22w due to DS's genetic disorder.  The structure of baby's heart looks great, but the echo will check the function of the heart.   We're just arming ourselves with as much info as we can get.

Tomorrow baby is half baked!  I can't believe it.  Still feeling so incredibly blessed.

16 weeks Pgal...so thankful

I've been horrible about blogging lately.  It's been 5 weeks since my last post.  I'm now 16 weeks, going on 17 week pregnant.  Sometimes I still can't believe it.  I had an appt last Monday and it went really well.  I had only gained 1 lb since my last appt four weeks prior, which surprised me b/c I've been eating total crap.  They were able to find the hb right away, which was such a relief.  I was so nervous going in there that morning (like I am every time I have an appt).  The hb was 148.  Other than that, it was a quick appt.  The doc felt my uterus and it is right where it should be.  My next appt is on the 20th and will be my A/S.

I've been talking to my DS about having a little brother or sister.  He is saying "hi baby" and "bye baby" now while gently rubbing my tummy.  His little voice just makes my heart melt.  He gets pretty jealous when I hold other people's babies, but I do feel he'll be a great big brother.

For the most part, I'm enjoying and embracing this pregnancy and am very optimistic.  But there are still a handful of times that my nerves get the better of me.  We opted against the genetic testing, so I'm nervous about how the A/S will go.  Due to DS's genetic disorder, if anything looks wrong with the baby's heart, we'll go in for an echo closer to 21-22 weeks.  In order to determine if this baby has the same genetic disorder, we would've needed an amnio, which I just didn't want to do.  By watching the heart, we'll be prepared at delivery if anything needs to be done.  I'm looking forward to the A/S being done and over with.  No matter what, we'll love this baby, so I just want the anxiety that comes with waiting to go away.

11 week appt update

I've been meaning to update since my last appointment and just kept forgetting.

On Monday, I went in for a regular OB appt (no ultrasound).  I was 11w3d at time.  I was so nervous that there wouldn't be a heartbeat.  I was warned that it could take several minutes to find the h/b since I was so early, but it still made waiting very hard!  Finally, she found the h/b!  And then just like that, it was gone!  She found it again two more times, but was never able to keep it long enough to get a count on it.  She said baby was moving all over the place.  Apparently I have a little mover and a shaker in there!  I'm going to have my hands full when this baby is born!  LOL.

Other than that, the appointment was quick and easy.  I'm up 4 lbs so far.  My BP was good and no proteins were found in my urine.  We've opted out of any genetic testing, so my next appointment isn't until 3/26.  That feels so far away!  At that appointment, we'll schedule our anatomy scan!!  Yay!

I caved and put on maternity jeans on Tuesday...and boy did it feel good.  They're a little big on me, but they are so much more comfy than my regular pants.  Since I'm a SAHM, I went out and bought a 2nd pair of maternity jeans on wednesday since jeans is about all I ever wear (when I'm not in sweats!  LOL)

Tomorrow we share the news with my inlaws.  After that, all close friends and family will know our happy news.  Everyone has been so excited for us...and it just makes me that much more excited. 

9w3d - ultrasound day!

We had our 2nd ultrasound this morning.  Wow was I nervous.  But I wasn't as nervous as I was for the first u/s.  I had to have another vaginal u/s and thankfully, we saw a beautiful little baby growing in there.  We saw a good, strong heartbeat, though we didn't get to hear it.  Here is our bean...

9w3d

 

I was told that i do have a relatively small subchorionic bleed, so I may or may not experience some spotting.  It's nice to know that in advance.  If I do have any spotting, they want  me to call anyone just so they can chart it.  I'm hoping that it just gets reabsorbed so I don't have to completely freak out when I see spotting. 

I was surprised to see that I have only gained about 2 lbs since my last appointment.  I've been eating like crazy and my pants aren't fitting very well anymore.  My bloat is horrible...not sure how much longer I can keep this a secret.  We will be telling family and close friends as we see them.  We are excited to share the news.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks.  No u/s, but hopefully the doppler will be able to pick up the heartbeat.  I love that sound and am anxious to hear it.

Thanks to all my bumpie friends for the positive thoughts and good vibes!  XOXO

 

Symptoms are finally kicking in

Well, this pregnancy has definitely kicked in since my last post.  I'm beyond exhausted and nauseous pretty much all day.  I haven't thrown up, but there are many times each day that I wish I would.  I've become a complete waste of space.  When I'm home, all I do is lay around watching tv, sleeping or reading books.  When I'm not home, all I do is complain about wanting to be home.  My husband is so ready for me to be feeling better.  Not sure how long this is going to linger though...I guess only time will tell.  While I do complain about how I'm feeling, I can't help but be so grateful.  These symptoms remind me that our little bean is busy growing away in there and I will gladly deal with feeling like complete poo for awhile while he/she does so.

Just under 2 weeks until our next u/s.  I cannot wait to hear that heartbeat.  I continue praying every day that we will be fortunate enough to see our munchkin growing and hear that beautiful heartbeat. 

1st ultrasound!

I had my first ultrasound yesterday at 6w3d.  It went really well!  I was so nervous my legs were shaking when I first sat down on the table.  I had to do a vaginal u/s since I was so early.  She found our little bean with no problem!  And while we didn't get to hear the heartbeat, we got to see it.  It was like a little white light flashing on and off.  I am measuring right on track too...which was great to hear.  I cried the second the u/s tech showed us our baby.  I couldn't help myself....i was just so happy.

After that, we met with my doctor.  He was pretty happy for us, but we all remain "cautiously optimistic."  We talked to him for about 45 min.  We discussed possible genetic testing (amnio vs CVS) and I don't think we're doing to do either.  After some discussion, it's just what works best for us.  We also talked about pregnancy basics...I needed a little refresher since it's been awhile.  :)  He finished up by checking my cervix and it was closed and looked good.

I asked about possible spotting from the u/s and from his check of my cervix and he said that I shouldn't spot, but if i do, there's no need to panic.  He said that I could of course call the office anytime i wanted to, but that any spotting didn't necessarily mean something bad.

Well, naturally, I had some spotting last night.  I mean, teeny tiny spotting.  A few little brown spots on my underwear and a teeny smidge (and I mean teeny) of red when I wiped.  Of course, I freaked out and was in a bad mood the rest of the night.  It only happened that one time last night and today has been ok.  I had one instance today where I wiped and had some brown, creamy CM.  Other than that, nothing too major, but it still makes me a little nervous.  So, I'm taking it easy today...just laying around and drinking lots of water.  Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'm ok with that.

Soooo....take a look at our little bean!!

Uneventful and optimistic

Well, so far things have been pretty uneventful.   I feel completely normal for the most part.  My boobs have been a little sore the entire time, but nothing that is causing any serious discomfort.  I'm hungry, but that's nothing new...I'm always hungry.  I'm tired....but again, nothing new.  I'm tired most of the time anyway.  So I'm feeling pretty good!  With my last pregnancy (prior to the m/c), I was nauseous a lot between weeks 6-8.  I never got sick, but had waves of nausea that would hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere.  I'm curious to see if I'll feel the same this time around.

I'm still feeling pretty optimistic about this pregnancy.  I made it past the 5 week mark, which is when I started spotting with the last pregnancy.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still nervous and anxious, but for some reason, I just feel good about this being a sticky baby.  Our ultrasound is only 5 days away!  I am praying so hard that we see a healthy little bean and hear a good, strong heartbeat.

2nd betas and 5 weeks

I had my 2nd beta draw on Monday.  On Tuesday, I got the happy news that our betas had more than doubled to 401!  In a normal pregnancy, betas are to double every 48 hours or so.  Since my last draw was last Thursday, we were hoping to see any number over 224.  I was thrilled when the nurse told me it was 401.  She said that the doctor doesn't want to draw anymore and that he'll see me on the 23rd for our u/s.  Part of me would love to know that my betas are increasing as they should, but it was really stressing me out, so I'm ok with just waiting until the 23rd (which of course seems like forever away!)


I am 5 weeks today.  Today is the day I started spotting in my last pregnancy.  I've had no spotting yet (knock on wood!!) and feel very optimistic about this being a sticky baby!

Still can't believe it - BFP!

It's been a few days, but I still can't believe that I got my BFP.  I tested on Wednesday, 1/4 (12 dpo) with a Wondfo and got a very faint line. My first reaction was, "Holy crap!"  I had fully prepared myself for a BFN.  I tested again with a FRER and again a VERY faint line.  I tested with a FRER digital and got a "no."  I re-read the FRER digital instructions and it turns out I didn't hold the stick in the sample long enough, so that may have been why I got the negative.

Anyway, I told DH and he couldn't believe it either.  We decided to just have me test again the next morning and see how it went.  I tested again with a Wondfo and a FRER and still saw a second line on both of them.  I finally busted out the big guns and got...

At this point, I decided it was time to call my OB and let him know.  He wanted me to come in for bloodwork as soon as I got my BFP, so I went in on Thursday morning. 

I tested again on Friday with just a Wondfo and got an even darker line.   I didn't test this morning, but I plan on testing tomorrow (Sunday). 

I got a call from my OB's office on Friday and got my beta results.  HCG = 56, Prog = 16.7.  I don't really know if that's good or bad.  I asked if those were ok and the nurse said yes.  I go in for a repeat draw on Monday.  I'll have to wait until Tuesday to get the results.  The waiting involved with being pregnant is torture.  I remember it being bad with my DS, but it's even worse now after experiencing a loss.  I want this baby so badly.  I pray every day that this will be our sticky baby and make DS a big brother.

Namaste

I took my butt to my first yoga class in a very long time yesterday.  It was hard, but it felt so good!  I'm looking forward to going to more classes.  I also went to a nearby Planet Fitness yesterday to check it out.  It's a nice gym...not too big, not intimidating, and clean.  I think I'm going to buy a membership...only $99 for the year.  I can't pass that up!  I love eating way too much, so working out is the best way to help myself out.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is on Sunday.  This year went by so fast...it's actually kind of scary.  I pray every day that 2012 will bring us our take home baby.

I'm out of control!

Ok seriously...I MUST stopping eating like total shit!  This is ridiculous.  When I got pregnant with my DS, I had been working out (had a free gym membership through work) and was eating somewhat healthy.  Now, I'm not working (my company relocated out of state), so I don't have a gym membership anymore....and we can't afford one on our own.  I walked every day in the Spring, Summer, Fall, but it's just too damn cold out now to walk.  Plus, I have to wait until DH gets home and by then, it's pitch black and eery out.  So I'm not getting any type of exercise, which is horrible.  I'm also eating worse b/c I'm home and have access to food...and toddler food at that.  Graham crackers, goldfish, etc.  Granted, DS eats better than me at most meals (protein, fruit and veggie as often as possible), but I don't eat the healthy stuff he does b/c it doesn't sound good. 

I know my diet is not helping our TTC efforts.  It's time to really focus and stop this!  I'm on the thinner side, so everyone thinks I'm nuts when I bring this up.  I may be thin, but I am NOT healthy.  I need to do at least some exercise every day.  It will need to be in my home, so I'll need to find a good video or something.  Why does it have to be so easy to say all this, yet so hard to follow through?  I always have the best intentions, but never stick with it.  Enough is enough.  I'm on cycle 11...CYCLE FREAKING 11...of TTCAL...time to get serious.  Having another baby means everything to me...time to make some changes!

No early Christmas present for me :(

Today is CD1.  I thought maybe the witch would show up tomorrow, but she showed up today instead.  Cycle 10 was a 27 day cycle.  As much as I don't want to, I think I'm going to temp this cycle.  If I really did O on cd 15, I only had a 12 day LP.  Looking back at my charts, my LP has been 12, 13 and 14 days.  I know it's hard to tell though just by OPKs.  We have 2 more cycles of trying on our own, and then we'll go in for some assistance.

As usual, I'm really sad that this wasn't our cycle.  No belated birthday gift for me.  No early Christmas gift for us.  And no chance of DH sharing his birthday with a sweet little baby.   I can't believe that we're moving onto cycle 11. 

Pee and our 1 year m/c anniversary

I can't wait for the day I'm no longer freaking out every time I wipe after I pee.  Sorry...I know that's a little gross to think about, but seriously...I can't wait!  Every time I pee, I worry there will be blood.  And the last couple of days, there has been.  And it sucks.   I know this will be a worry of mine until I'm done having kids though, so it's something I need to learn to deal with.  Spotting for me doesn't usually mean good things.  It usually means AF is right around the corner.  And last December, it meant that I was losing the baby I was carrying.  Which leads me to my pity party...

I can't believe it's been a year since I miscarried.  I can't believe that I'm still not pregnant.  I'm unbelievably sad.  My heart just aches.  I've never wanted something so bad in my entire life.  I want to be pregnant again more than anything.

MF

MF SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh....it's really getting to me this cycle.  Every little twinge or cramp I feel makes me think I'm KU'd.   I try not to let MF get to me too much, but this cycle has been horrible.  I keep thinking this HAS to be our cycle.  My birthday is tomorrow.  What a great birthday present (even though I won't test until late next week).  Christmas is right around the corner.  What a great early Christmas present!  And to top it all off, my due date would be DH's birthday.  It's like it's meant to be!! 

I hope and pray every day that this is our lucky cycle. 

Our plan

Wow, it's been awhile since I've updated....

I had my HSG done last Monday.  It looked good.  My left tube was a little slow to fill, so there may have possibly been a blockage.  If there was, the pressure of the dye was enough to get through it and the tube eventually filled.

DH had his SA done recently as well.  His results came back "borderline" for morphology and motility.  It wasn't bad enough to concern my dr too much.  He's not convinced that DH is the reason we're not pregnant.


My Cd 3 b/w came back normal.

So, our plan is to TTC on our own this cycle and next.  If we're still not pregnant, we'll go back in for another consultation with the dr.  It feels good to be moving forward.  I pray that we will have our 2nd take home baby very soon.

Sad

I'm feeling pretty down and out today.  AF is going to show up on Saturday or Sunday....what a lovely weekend treat for me.  I was really hoping that I'd miraculously get pregnant and not have to go through all the testing.  Guess that won't be the case.  I really hope this testing provides some answers.  I know that there are others out there who have been TTCAL much longer than me, but this process is really taking a toll on me. 

I've also been sad lately b/c out of the buddy group that I was originally a part of after I had my m/c, I'm the only one not pregnant.  In fact, there are several girls who have had their babies already.  While I'm beyond excited for them, I'm really sad for myself.  When will it be our turn? 

We have a plan!

My appointment last week went great!  My doctor is fantastic and is being very proactive.  We have a plan and that is providing me with the hope I haven't felt in a long time.

So, our plan...

If we don't get pg this cycle, we will begin testing next month.  I will go in for cd 3 blood work followed by an HSG when AF is done.  Sometime during AF, DH will go in for SA testing.  If everything comes back normal, we will continue trying until Jan.  If we're still not pg by Jan, we will go back to my dr and discuss a more aggressive plan.

DH took the news very well.  I wasn't sure how he'd react to the SA test, but he says he'll do whatever he needs to do.  God love him.

My dr says that the pressure from the HSG will kind of "open things up" and hopefully increase our chances of getting pregnant. 

I am just so relieved to have a plan!  I was nervous that he would tell us we need to keep trying, but he proved me wrong.

It feels so good to feel hopeful.

Tomorrow is the big day

I have my appointment with my OB tomorrow.  I have no idea what to expect.  All I know is that I really want to walk out of there with a plan.  I want to feel optimistic and hopeful again.  It's been awhile since I've felt that way.  Part of me is nervous that he won't be much help.  I do plan on going to a specialist if I leave there unsatisfied, but honestly, I really don't want to have to go that route.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see how tomorrow goes.

And more pregnancies....

Seriously...will they ever stop?!!!!  I feel like every day I find out someone else is pregnant....and it's never me!!  I'm in need of a pity party....and a good slap in the face to get out of this funk. 

3 more days until my appointment with my OB.  If I don't get some answers I'm going to lose my mind.

PS - mypeanut - if you're reading this, you don't count!